[ 191. thunderstorm ]

well the weather today juz reflected my results. dark. especially my maths paper.
bleak's the word. kinda expected but it still bothers me till now. early in the
morning, i saw my very nice maths teacher... she always gives me lots of encouragement
and always pushes me to excel. when she asked 'are u prepared?' my only wish was to
keep that smile on her when she sees my paper. but now, i can only wait for paper 2.
if not the A level. I feel terrible having to know that i let my teacher down. well
not juz maths...

today's maths was tough. heard frm my other friends that the standard is higher.
well if i can get 30 out of 100, i would be happy. i left a 12m and 10m question blank.
my maths was so terrible that i couldnt even start. :( that bumped me out.
i could only do a few sums entirely... and not even sure whether i got them correct.
i think i spent too much time on other subjects... since sec 3, i always got
phobia for A maths... now in JC the fear intensifies... i always freak out
during exams and my vision will blur, hands will tremble. cold sweat. worst case
scenario like today had to leave such obvious blanks on my answer script.

well lucky still have paper 2 to work on. i need more than 70 marks to get a pass overall.
difficult feat. but at least i am more confident in.

but all was not lost. lucky chem paper was quite ok. what i studied came out. juz that
i didnt memorise hard enough... made a few careless mistakes, its the only paper tt
i am happy wif... gd time management. i managed to finish everything within the
2 hr 45 mins. mentally drained... especially after the hit i got from maths...
nvr eat also.. no appetite. bz memorising impt stuff for chem.

i hate morning papers. have to wake up so early. i rather wake up later. have a nice
lunch then head to sch for afternoon papers.

tml bio practical... and i am bad at histology... cant draw :(
hope got enough time, normal bio prac not enough time to finish... and i am in
the morning shift :( haf to quarantined till 12pm. sianz.

i'm left with:
bio prac
chem prac
bio paper 3
maths paper
chem paper 1 and 2.