Vanishing Spell

Let the Object of Objection
Become but a Dream
As I cause the Seen
To be Unseen

29.04.04, Thursday ~ Hyped factor: 7/10

wah.. dunno is -_- or having fun changing nick over at msn... my 'brudder' put me
as beCUMmer -_-" see he so horny... worst, he un-acknowledge me as brother... sadz.
lolx... 'best' not there liao so i guess, i'm better off as a dirty joke teller? tt reminds me
of who i was when i was in my upper sec. had to be funny to fit into the grp. making pple
laugh like become my part time job. after all the laughters.. i looked back.. how many
actually stayed to laugh with me... or even make me laugh. hardly. i may be laughing
but whether u are really cheering me up anot? its hard to tell. till now, i realise i haf
not laugh at other pple's jokes tt much... i've been laughing wif my friends
at my own jokes. gosh. i'm really sick.

but making pple laugh is a feat. u have to ensure the jokes u say are not too lame.. not
too chim (or u find urself laughing while others still figuring out wat u say)... and i hate
to explain jokes... really kills the mood. i think i'm so used to be teased when
i was young.. now whenever i tease pple the girls wld say 'eee.. u so mean'. dunno y
perhaps i'm sick... teasing pple. well i think only peihuan n diana would understand
whats in it in a tease. well.. tease can work both ways... i only noe by teasing ph, i
haf motivated her and push her further... always out to challenge her... thru putting
her down she always swear to prove tt i'm wrong... i used to tease her tt she's fat,
flabby.now? she always get napfa gold... so pple, teasing does not equate to degrading
the person -_-"

i'm not stressed but why am i not laughing my heart out? i'm not myself...
someone save my life tonight... latoya london

in the meantime i shall try to smile?
Me: wat happens to the best?
Z: u cum it out liao lolx

28.04.04, Wednesday ~ Hyped factor: 5/10

Today nothing much lehz. str8 after sch ran to punggol to settle some stuff... oh ya
i was asking my form tutor whether there will be extra lessons in june, he was like why?
i mean i haf to right to noe wat.. gave such a curt reply -_- then he said " CCA again?"
I noe he wan me to conc on my As but i also nid to draw up my schedule... nid to noe the
dates i can commit to LD. die liao. for get to get back my mc... haf to do make up PE sianz.
yeah later got AMI...

today watched first 50 dates, wow a show that fits my brudder... freaking show that makes
u horny :X actually no la. the actions they do and the way they put across stuff kinda
funny and makes u think otherwise... hilarious show.. can la 3 stars. can be higher but
air con @ j8 so damn cold...

yeah one more day of sch, friday sports day... oh william hung's mtv abt to show liao...
adieu...

27.04.04, Tuesday ~ Hyped factor: 6/10

Well, today i resisted temptation to pon. lolx. big feat. was kinda glad cos i get to watch
a not-so-nice dance performance and a great movie 'Pay It Forward'... Anyone got the VCD
can lend? superb movie.. so touching.. lots of girls were crying away.Today morning started
kinda malu... bio tutorial class wanted to choose the shortest question... but i thot raise
hand first get to choose... in the end got 1(a) which was kinda tough... haiz.. every1 was like
blaming me for choosing the qn... i was like hello.. this is a grp work... take out ya work and
compare dun juz critic on my essays...-_- the day passed quite smoothly. went to nyp to
eat wif fion... haiz.. poor thing she lost her fone.. dunno which mean guy stole hers. haiz.
hope she can get a new fone soon... then saw xinhao and jiamin at nyp... lolx.in the end
pon PE cos i seriously dun wan to sweat.. haiz. i scared i get into trouble. pon so much
PE lesson. tml haf to clear some make up PE... if not sure -_-: hope i'll be fine tml...
today had current affairs meeting... cool. we got everything done. now left admin stuff...
progressing faster than i thot.. lolx. now hope response is good... received email from
LD.. well haf to go check wif the tutors got extra lessons.. hope not.. i really wanna
help :( tml short day... i assume i shall start intensive mugging... cheers. oh ya.
brudder's speech so touching.. lolx. finally some1 find me useful. i also see myself
as stepping stones... well... glad to noe zell... so much abt him i'll take whole day to tok.
such friendship hard to come by... a toast to the brotherhood wif ys too... haha...
u guys rocked my life!

26.04.04, Monday ~ Hyped factor: 4/10

haiz.. today sucked. first thing in the morning fat arse, "Stay back after assembly"
knew wats gonna happen... "u haf been absent for 10 days out of 20 weeks of
school, u noe." thx na for doing the math... 20x5=100. i had 90% attendence...
good wat... -_-" and ya fat arse wanted to fart at my parents' ears... lolx. meaning
call my parents. do i care? HECK. Ha.then got scolded during bio prac. for doing things
wif one hand...-_-" i was too hungry so a bit blur... then chem test got back.. haiz nvr
study.. but pass.heng. my tutor wanted more frm me... on my paper "i know you can
do better." she always ask me why i am in the middle pack. haiz :( sorry to disappoint her.
i haf to get down to serious and intense mugging liao... then GP, fat arse again. keep
shooting at our side cos two groups didnt do wat they r supposed to do... my partner
n i did lo... anyway siam str8 for home after GP. tml long day wif PE and current affairs
meeting at 7. I hope i can last tml... i actually only look forward to mug in sch. see fat
arse really spoil my appetite... today com got probs. cant chat wif brudder ... sadz -_-:
but nvm i shall phone some1. hehe... adieu.
stupid ass.

"fountain of life" brudder zell

You noe wats tt? its dirty... and he's horny. :X

You're Yuna! Quit? NU UH! You're lively and proud,
a bit concerned at times, but the live wire of
the group.


Which FFX-2 Character are you?! (with pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla

25.04.04, Sunday ~ Hyped factor: 6/10

After a malu start, i think i muz stay away frm my comp. been stoning and watching
charmed the whole morning... then went to jalan besar CC for a public first aid lesson.
teach CPR, bandaging, so cool. my first public first aid and i get to teach pple so much
older than me. Mmm... at their ages, they are still so enthu abt learning. mmm.. i wonder
wat is happening to our youths. youths nowadays take things for granted. dun really wan
to speak up. hardly would ask questions. but the 3 people i was attached to, were so enthu
and they keep asking questions. Even i passed them for CPR, they still wanna try, really
impressed by their attitude. They had theory lessons before that, and they were asking me
questions and can c they tried to apply to CPR. My group advanced kinda fast and i got tt
sense of achievement at least they understood me :) tts one of the best takeaway. Whats
another? 50 bucks for 3 hr session. lolx. ya money nt that impt but its an incentive too :)
one way i can keep up wif first aid, help others and getting money is just something
secondary. i thot it was voluntary though. brudder msged me and asked me
when i end, i thot wah so good, go out or eat. but chey... ask for fun nia. -_- nvm, i came
home slammed myself wif tutorials. I seriously having sunday blues and tml?
monday blues. today my mum's bdae so i beta be extra gd boy... later she come home
from work, free massage and i shall whip something for her :X Mediacorp n Mediaworks
better start planning interesting prog on weekends. i practically rot yesterday and today
-_- adieu ~

today, i looked out of the window. saw the sky quite bright. i
turned to my alarm clock. 6.55!!! OMG, i jumped out of my bed
dashed to the bathroom, desperately to put on my contacts
wif my sleepy eyes. ran to my room, almost shouted at my dad
why he didnt wake me up. i quickly put on my sch uniform. Just as
i was going to pack my bag, i looked at the computer. something
amiss. i point to the time bar and it showed Sunday, April 25, 2004...

24.04.04, Saturday ~ Hyped factor:5/10

ok, yesterday when i slept at 3am, i thot i was at the 'end of the road'.(simon cowell
to camile valesco when she sang the yellow brick road) i had to eat before i sleep,
too hungry... then i planned to wake up at 5 to do a last min summary...
guess wat? woke up at 6.10. and i nid to board the bus at 630 lest i wanna be late.
mad rush. didnt haf breakfast. was so scared my stomach wld growl in the quiet LT.
i had bad experiences b4... on the bus, i needed to sleep so badly, but i forced myself
to read notes. then realised i left out the pH and acidity control of kidney. tok abt
get your freak on. then also found out the growth chap forgot to study the
ectoderm, endoderm, mesoderm under the cleavage, gastrulation and organogenesis.
oh boy i still remember. lolx. in the end they nvr came out. -_-" neither did liver functions
neither did kidney essays. so well, lucky i didnt study too hard. :X still think tt ajc bio
paper standard not there. not i hao lian, the questions mostly frm TYS and we already got
the answer guide. Its whether u go read the ans key anot... which i think most
did. so unlike hc paper. all the questions mostly application questions and one question
is so long. after u read, u nid to process or read again, sure nt enuff time to finish. Their
essay questions love to let ya mind process. questions like compare and contrast the
aldestrone and ADH secretion, ultrafiltration VS selective reabsorption, urine formation
VS haemodialysis. ok maybe they think that kidney not much time to cover so dun
put essay for that but the quesions on endocrine gland, insulin and glucagon. pick
frm TYS -_- lolx ok la, u guys may think i siao, bitch abt an easy paper when i shld
be happy. juz feel a little sad tt they didnt maximise the chance to expose us tough qns.
since all the small tests now do not contribute to prelims... the more they shld set hard
papers.

well, seriuously Saturdays without red cross training sucked i am rotting...
took a nap and woke up and its 1pm + long day. no tv. now its back to my work :(
i foresee nothing exciting for today...

Dont let the sun go down on me
i find this song most endearing to me... at least for now. one of my fave song.
sung by elton john. revocalised by jasmine trias (ya u wanna say she sucks?)

I can't light no more of your darkness
All my pictures seem to fade to black and white
I'm growing tired and time stands still before me
Frozen here on the ladder of my life

Too late to save myself from falling
I took a chance and changed your way of life
But you misread my meaning when I met you
Closed the door and left me blind by the light

Don't let the sun go down on me
Although I search myself, it's always someone else I see
I'd just allow a fragment of your life to wander free
But losing everything is like the sun going down on me

I can't find
Oh, the right romantic line
But see me once and see the way feel
Don't discard me
Just because you think I mean you harm
But these cuts I have
Oh, they need love to help them heal

Don't let the sun go down on me
Although I search myself, it's always someone else I see
I'd just allow a fragment of your life to wander free
But losing everything is like the sun going down on me

23.04.04, Friday ~ Hyped factor: 2/10

i'm so fucked up... arghz... today was such a waste. haiz. didnt get to study as much as
i expected. can only blame myself -_-" lets break down wat makes a sucky day:

1. My money!!! i swear i'll nvr collect chem notes again. my 20+ bucks cldnt even get
back when i nid... how to survive? haiz

2. stupid nap. not only i missed survivor. i missed precious time to study. at 130am now
study wat? i'm gonna fail tml.. arghz...

3. my charmed episode dl halway kena cut. now muz rejoin long queue. arghz...

4. i haf achieved nothing today. arghz...

good thing only meet up n had a nice chat wif dien, brudder and earlier ys and brudder.
rm training. other than tt, the day sucked!!!

found this lyrics for the song i kinda like.
by elton john but was sung by camile valesco of AMI.

yellow brick road

When are you gonna come down
When are you going to land
I should have stayed on the farm
I should have listened to my old man

You know you can't hold me forever
I didn't sign up with you
I'm not a present for your friends to open
This boy's too young to be singing the blues

So goodbye yellow brick road
Where the dogs of society howl
You can't plant me in your penthouse
I'm going back to my plough

Back to the howling old owl in the woods
Hunting the horny back toad
Oh I've finally decided my future lies
Beyond the yellow brick road

What do you think you'll do then
I bet that'll shoot down your plane
It'll take you a couple of vodka and tonics
To set you on your feet again

Maybe you'll get a replacement
There's plenty like me to be found
Mongrels who ain't got a penny
Sniffing for tidbits like you on the ground

So goodbye yellow brick road
Where the dogs of society howl
You can't plant me in your penthouse
I'm going back to my plough

Back to the howling old owl in the woods
Hunting the horny back toad
Oh I've finally decided my future lies
Beyond the yellow brick road

22.04.04, Thursday ~ Hyped factor: 5/10

today feeling norm. nothing exciting except get praised by mani for bio. nothing
much also. filled up the NS pre-enlistment documentation can vomit blood...
So many things to fill up. Awards also muz type. i got so many ^o) and they
expect every award to haf a date,mth,yr. how i remember -_-" lazy to type. juz
gif a few.

well.. been thinking shld pon tml anot? short day n PE, dun feel like going. but
think of gg polyclinic to get MC also sianz. somemore fri is the most boliao day.
i might as well stay @ hme 2 study bio test... but then again, still nid to go for
CCA at 5pm. oh ya my NS medical checkup i put on 6th july. tue...
so i can pon sch. haha. i so stupid put in june holidays meh. haha. :X

signed up a new email... johnchen@gmail.com yup u guys can start emailing to
my new add. got 1000MB space can even send songs.. lolx. today GP my
partner and i didnt do the compo. but heng har. fat arse has to go early.
wah me break into cold sweat... looks like every1 has done. looking forward
to AMI later.. but already know the results.. lolx. i think fantasia, latoya
cant be bottom three lehz. they juz wan to create excitement and make pple
vote for them more. every week like different btm 3... can bet next week
btm 3 sure george huff, john steven and jasmine/diana...

and i think i spend $$$ like water. -_-" wed was given 70 bucks. 2 days only
left 30 bucks. apart frm zapping notes which took up 10 bucks. haiz... muz
keep record of my expenditure liao... now left like 10+ cos i pay for class notes
haven claim. if i go sch tml. then i can claim. if not have to wait for mon.

well get back to study bio n chatting wif brudder... camile valasco's yellow brick
road rocks. haha

20.04.04, Tuesday ~ Hyped factor: 4/10

basically today juz sucked for me. the only thing tt kept
me sane was the current affairs meeting... weird huh.
well tts wat rc haf done to my life. little things make me
excited :) oh today my buddy, na didnt go sch :( lone
ranger again. yup my dance training changed to fri again
so any1 fri wanna hang out? lolx. i finish sch at 1.45, muz
go back at 5. dun mind actually cos i like dancing in dance studio
wif mirror beta than in classrm -_-

fat arse pissed me off again... 'one more time u dun produce mc,
i will be holding back your testimonial. You know rite, school's
policy. you know wat will happen if u are in the army? ...' i
shut off immediately. he's like so young but so much to nag.
ya, concern abt me but he cld haf put it in a nicer way. i'm
an 'attitude' student. lolx. he kept ratting behind me,
i juz keep up my pace. why am i so problematic? :) i thinking i've
been putting a facade of who i really am. dunno y. maybe i hate
the sch, so tend to rebel. well its a disadvantage to me but i juz
cant seem to get back to b tt 'goodie2shoes'. also some of my
classmates were also absent but they dun produce mc, he nvr
say anything -_-

then during pe which i initially dun intend to go, those napfa nt
tt gd haf to go for extra training... sianz... then my two 'excused'
pe lessons became void. now haf to do 2 make up PE. i mean wtf!
i was sick on fri, the day before march holidays so i hand in the MC
the day when sch starts. then the PE teacher says he tabulated
the stuff during march holidays... -_- u think i so free come back
sch to hand in mc?

AJ sucks la, teachers nt flexible. dun wan to hear explaination.
when i try to explain, keep saying i gif excuses. then throw the
file on the floor and talking to other pple, while i still talking to him.
i was so [pissified] everything's been downhill for me
in aj. shouldnt appeal to transfer in the first place, shld stay in
tj. haiz. well, able to choose may nt be a gd thing... enuff of tis,
shall move on, school sucks but not red cross. toast!

had meeting for current affairs comp. as expected only 4 of us.
oh mdm pok flashed out my project. lolx. got to know her better.
yup. me chair and my brudder vice. haha. suggested the challenge
shield. really hope rck dun die off. :(

hope tml will be a gd day, going sk. going punggol collect back
beret samples then to HQ. sat no training. after bio test, i'll
be quite sian. any dates? ^o)

19.04.04, Monday ~ Hyped factor: 7+4+4/30

Saturday
Well, WRCD... got excused frm mdm lee frm chem test.
feeling great. set off frm ys's hse to braddell. my eyes cld
hardly open frm the 330am sleep :( had mac breakfast,
then went to gyss to feed mosquitoes... went toa payoh
stadium kinda early so helped out wif logistics. soon,
pple start strolling in. oh ya saw law sir jogging... mmm...
being road marshal was cool lo. can get a nice tan. and
wear the vest.. once in a lifetime sia. but breathe in too
much CO... now my brain aint working well... lolx...
dismissal part was even more fun directing the buses n
cadets... then simon-peter sir said 'mass orgy' -_-"
but nvm, we're in the same frequency. lolx. Oh ya
gotta explain a few things. after i have changed, i went out
to see wat i can help. then i knew i had to take down the
direction boards. i thot they were juz nearby so nvm. but
no. had to go all the way down to the hdb flats, bus stops.
then i didnt bring my hp along.. in my uniform. oops.
then all my friends came looking for me. so touched.. lolx.
sorry guys to keep u all worried.. i didnt haf the chance
2 tell u guys where i was going... didnt expect also.
then went to see the same steamboat but tis timewif eusoff
joan and poh boon. yup. ate more tis time. go home so tired.
see my com cant use. i sian diao. -_-

Sunday
Oh it was kinda sucky. cos i msged so many frenz n none
could lend me the cable modem installation cd. either not
at hme or not using. wah very frustrating. its like all done
except the cd. no mood to study for chem or math test.
haiz. then finally zhu lifang come to my rescue. she helped
me dl the networking program... she rocks! even though
i got the diskette like at 8+ but i was still excited. haiz.
kinda wasted the whole day. then i spent my time
admiring msn 6.1. lolx. and my cd writer. and everything
back to normal. and faster com :) slept at 230 :( bad

Monday
Muz be lack of sleep. today math test i was stumped
forgot how to start the working... almost fainted...
in the end something struck me, managed to do but
i think sure fail again. nvr check properly. haven recover
frm shock. variance i go and subtract when it can only
be added. haiz. dunno what i am thinking of. 4 marks leh.
chem test was ok but as usual mixed up the reagents
didnt study much, but think can pass wif a better grade
this time :) cheers. went to eat AJ ice wif my brudder,
that bloody uncle made us wait for so long... -_- well.
bio test this sat. i beta start revising. tml somemore
got current affairs comp meeting. check it out c",)
whole event

16.04.04, Friday ~ Hyped factor: 5/10

haiz. this morning. bad flu. serious. but in the end still went
travelling to meet my friend in the morning. so bo liao. wasted the
whole day. frm sk to woodland then to bukit batok. then back to
wdland to sk. from sk to toa payoh. from toa payoh back to sk.
then from sk to wldland. sit in the bus and train until my butt sore
somemore carry so much barang barang. feeling unhappy too...
haiz... but kinda temporary... wat happen? lolx

received na's sms tt my PW got Band 2!!! lolx. was really happy
cos my project's a lousy and so clique type of project. juz like
sec sch do one... -_-" then i came to know that one of my
member got Band 3 while the rest got Band 2... then my members
were bitching that i shld b the one who get a 3... not the other
guy... -_-" how wld u feel? at first was really angry. firstly, the two
girls so mark oriented. they do all the research by themselves and
put their names down. then those not that gd research material,
they juz ask me and the other guy, C to chip in as a grp analysis.
FYI, there are self analysis and grp analysis. also, they like to sabo
pple.. there are a few times when i cant make it for the meeting,
they wrote the minutes, at my name they bracket "didnt
inform us of his absence" i was like wtf! and all my ideas tt
i have contributed all put under the two names of tt &^%&^
girls are vicious sia. tts not all lo. survey forms juz throw to me
and ask me go interview 50 pple. -_- say i haven done anything...
wats wif my sundays? i spent them at the National library
doing research and find articles tt are dated like so way back lo
had to queue for 2 hrs for my turn. and i had to make a few trips
cos they only allow 1 hr and queue super long. I also went NUS
library. but who noes? no1. i nvr say only. haiz...

anyway enuff of me bitching. the fact tt i got a 2 and the 2 snobs
said i dont deserve cos i didnt do much, i prove them wrong. so
wat if my oral presentation helped me. bleahz. somemore, the oral
presentation plan and stuff i do one lo. haiz. but i didnt put my name
lo. unlike the ^$^%*

so angry to say anything.. arghz... to hell wif them!

yup, tml WRCD.. so excited... go breakfast then gyss. wif the sick band
of brothers! lolx. sure a lot of photo taking... muz relax my jaws now...
ya, hope my di feeling ok. cheer up :) 4 hrs to GO. c",) back to my TYS.

15.04.04, Thursday ~ Hyped factor: 6/10

lolx, i'm blogging now at my friend's house for yesterday's entry.
well actually was feeling quite excited and hyped yesterday, until
i read my di's blog. haiz didnt noe he was unhappy, sorry if my
waffle make u feel sad. actually u no nid to feel pai seh, i used
to treat my very good friends food. lolx. ya, ys ur turn next time
no wonder u so quiet during e bus ride. feel so ps tt i fell asleep
when ya got things to tell me, haiz. so pai seh. quick wake up n
chat wif me... haha

well, thursday was quite slack. fat arse not in sch so i got 5
periods free. went sch for bio tut, math tut and chem prac test.
chem prac test was so... easy. haha. didnt do e experiment, i juz
predicted the results. :P real nice to work wif paul. he got everything
for me. minus his answers.

then went sgoon to get my specs. had an interesting talk along e
way. reach dhoby ghaut super early. then di get to wear my uniform
ya, smart pple do look gd in uniform... how is it feel like being an AJ
for a day? lolx.

well... was rather awkward over at dinner... mmm. am i a person
tt lame or irritating? seems like some are unhappy wif me. or
are they juz kidding n playing? i'm confused. do nt send wrong
signals. if u 'play' along wif me i wld think its ok for u. so if
i pissed u guys in anyway do let me noe :) hate tt feeling to
guess whether any1 is unhappy wif me. even if i wrong, i
also dunno. or worst, u haven hear my side of the story.

shall end here. yup. hope my di cheer up. stay cool every1 c",)

This special blog entry for my brudder who has his EQ restored saying:

tml u can punch my arm all u wanna~~~

when i'm feeling down n vexed. thanks! little gesture makes my day :)
U Rock!

14.04.04, Wednesday ~ Hyped factor: 6/10

yeah today our bio presentation was well done. thx SHEENA 4 writing
up the ans... -_-" got praised by mani. after that like nothing much. GP
period became a period used to discuss int. friendship day stuff... didnt
bring tie, nvr got fined! cool!fat arse saw damien nt wearing tie, but how
come he didnt mention me? i think he has given up hope on me... lolx.
and i think i pissed my cca teacher again. hey wats new? tired of saying
sorry liao... i try to balance both cca, if either one side is unhappy, i cant
do much... not tt i can sacrifice one of them... nor did i neglect either one.
aiya, u try having internal n external cca then u can haf the right to
tell me i'm wrong... i'm sick of explaining. no1 understands me... all
they can say is 'can u dun be so busy?' -_- speechless. Red X's been
part of my life, asking me to give up, u might as well ask me to quit living.
u may think i'm crazy but hey i'm tt devoted. full stop.

had a meeting wif my CFC family. i begin to haf an affinity to woodland.
yes we haf become more dirty in speech n thots. Today started sms relay.
well. brudder today was great, carry my bag n my textbk... and shit
let him discover i'm scared of being tickled. i'm doomed. lolx. ok he stained
himself as usual cos he's too high. and got 'attacked'. lolx. was rather
surprised but glad tt vanessa joined us :)

ok tml chem prac test. hope i can get the slot for bio remedial on fri... and
mon chem test hopefully...