..:: 307. The One With 2nd Week In SISPEC ::..

haiz - is the word to sum up this entire long week. so much so for 'working' a 5.5 day week. i really need to muster some motivation before i suffer from depression.

couldnt sleep for the first two days as i havent settle my university admission stuff... but thanks to a few people, they set my mind at ease... Andy sir, Vincent sir, Shannen, Jorin and my sis!

Got to book in on monday morning as i had a water course at changi naval base that morning. It was not a good thing to book in on monday at all. firstly, sun i went for a volleyball game and got hit right in my face. Slept like around 1am and had to wake up like 5am. The sleep was good but not enough.

Well at least there was some consolation this week as we spent like three days (tue-thur) having lectures. tue we had an NE discussion forum on whether spore can be defended. yawns... i was caught by the officer for dozing off... luckily he was in a gd mood. well almost half the cohort was sleeping, i was at the 2nd row so suay is the word.

wed, we had an early lights off at 8PM!!! Never slept so early before in my entire 4 months. I had like 9 hrs of sleep and super on-form for lectures and even SOC... arghz. training for SOC was such a waste of time. they could have given us one test and those who fail should go for training. Having to go through four sessions of SOC and a trial test is simply wasting 'soldier time'. Ya, its for combat fitness but the training for SOC is not even scheduled properly... we had 2 consective sessions while poor foxtrot had four trainings in a week!

In army... had to do things for the sake of doing... so thats why they often scold us for follwing the motion only. well what to do... once things become routine for me, i will feel 'sian'. So much for my instructors for saying 'do it once, do it good'.

We almost got to play 'musical chair'. It is a term for switching of bunks. Our commando PC made us pack every stuff we had and wanted to switch our bunks as we didnt do our area cleaning properly... i was eager to change bunk so i can get another cupboard which has an intact lock. my current one was spoilt so i could not lock my valuables. very frustrating... In the end, he just told us to put back our stuff...

the stand-by bed arrangement was even more 'do for the sake of doing'. We had to lay a soap box, toothbrush, toothpaste, shaver (all SAF issued items) when in fact none of us used them. I mean if we were to just make sure our stuff are neatly arranged, that would be the standard for stand-by bed. Not like now, where we had to put admin, shorts, white socks on the left, green socks on the right. Hang only three sets of clothes, civilian, then long 4, then smart 4. thats so stupid... Well, thats BMT Sch 1 way of stand-by bed. luckily mohawk was not like that.

next definitely have to talk about my section... my friend said i was stupid enough to be such a nice guy and help my section get stuff... which is true to a certain extent. I had a vad experience the last time so i would think twice next time. this time i asked one of my section to help me get the stuff... i was pretty anxious at this moment cos he didnt confirm whether he will be buying for me. If not i have to get it myself or find someone. I called and called but no one picked up the phone. ARGHZ.

my buddy is a garang (very-on) sikh, at least not a turban kind. i really dunno whether to appreciate him or to hate him. certain things he say, never goes through his mind. he could be mocking at his own section mate who was short and could not get through the low wall in SOC. but then again, it may be his way of motivating that guy. maybe i am still being racist or wat cos i came from an all-chinese bunk in my BMT. Now the tension in the section is quite intense. there are people trying to impress so they can go to OCS by 6th week, some haven come out from their comfort zone. It's very hard to sense sincerity in the conversations now. What's more, one of my section mate got OOC (out of course) so easily... he didnt want to stay in sispec so he brought up his medical history... so he would be waiting for his new 8-5 posting most probably... Now that's depressing for me. So many times, i wanted to give up, not because it's tough, but because there's nothing for me to look forward to in SISPEC. i will excel if there's something that i am aiming for. but now, there's none. I'm just fighting hard to keep myself going and telling myself, time will pass quickly. That's not the way i want. I want to enjoy training...

its the first time that i actually cant stand a person because of his vulgarities. our CSM (coy sergeant major) is one aging ah beng you can find in spore. he dont address people by their names, if he's unhappy, u will be known as 'ccb' (not difficult to decipher that, i guess). That word has been so common that i can actually feel that there is such a person in the company. he rarely uses english as i feel that his cultural roots must be super deep and strong. dialect (hokkien) all day long. when he uses his phone, its always hokkien that i hear. F*** has lost its meaning to me... cos he loves to f*** everyone. he could just walk up to you and point his middle finger at your face and say 'FU' for the simplest reason. he even does it to the toilet bowls during inspection. maybe not the pointing part.
i wonder whether he believes in any religion... he loves to say 'g**-damn f***ing' at least once a day. i also feel that he may have some kind of fetish for the male organ... cos he kept using 'simi LJ', of course there are many kinds but i know for sure he's jealous of us as he maybe having problems keeping up. lol. whats worse, he thinks he's funny. he loves to make fun of ang-mo and our coy has two unfortunately. he also confessed he has a fetish for braces... maybe not guys in braces... now that's one weird man.

well kinda surprised when my buddy now in OCS told me he felt like crying... well i guess training to be a commander ain't easy. i know its hard for me cos i am a very emotional person and many times, my emotions will take control of me, that's why i am trying to keep myself to think positively.

Well, all is not lost.i should make a list to remind myself to stay happy...

1. Learning new weapons is interesting and so far i have done pretty well for the tests.

2. my section commander is super cool and affable, 2 weeks of miserable section movement should be fun now.

3. i'm on my 3rd week now... awaiting for 6th week.

4. Look forward to Labour day and Vesak day... long weekends.

5. Make more friends. Maybe get to know one person each day.

haha cant believe i'm doing this but it kinda helped me... a form of therapy?

today sunday, had to send my clothes for laundry service. so waited and began to observe people... couples with children kinda interesting... if they got one child, the child would most probably walking beside his/her dad while the mum will walk behind them (quite a big gap). 2 kids. one with each parent. son with mum, daughter with dad. Those without children would walk side by side. holding of hands would be for either very young couples or very old couples.

oh well, that's just some minority stuff i see, may not actually make sense. just feeling the sunday blues. a few hours more have to book in le. next 2 weeks, i wil be booking out on sunday morning and booking in on sunday night. hows that sound?


Confucianism:

"Tse-kung asked, 'Is there one word that can serve as a principle of conduct for life?' Confucius replied, 'It is the word 'shu' -- reciprocity. Do not impose on others what you yourself do not desire.'" Doctrine of the Mean 13.3